November 2011
Goddamn, I hate Halloween.
When Witnesses and Mormons come knocking, at least they bring kindling.
October 2011
8 tags
I'm not carving a pumpkin this year.
I hate Halloween, but I love carving pumpkins. Opting not to carve is yet another symptom of my unending ennui.
Ugh.
“The study was quite small, and optimism is a highly subjective trait that varies...”
– Glass Half Full or Faulty Frontal Lobe? | Brain Blogger
Emphasis mine.
Well, duh. If you’re optimistic, you’re not paying enough fucking attention.
Gigantic snowflakes are falling right now in DC.
gatsbylives:
Whoa.
Hope all those skimpy Halloween costumes work out for you tonight, ladies!
“And what are you supposed to be?” “I’m a slutty victim of frostbite.”
Holy cameos, Batman
Jeffrey Ross at the Batman roast.
I love Batman: The Brave and the Bold.
Seltzerlizard: Things You Know Are Coming Soon →
seltzerlizard:
by Douglas Robert Turek
1. Occupied - A romantic comedy about two people who meet in a Starbucks during the Occupy Wall Street protests. One is a high powered corporate banking lawyer that works for a Big Money Firm, one is an art student who looks vaguely hippieish and vaguely hipsterish who…
Chronically Awesome: therealcherilyn replied to... →
jewles:
therealcherilyn replied to your video: Interesting video of an interview from former MTV…
i never saw such hatred between the left & the right until our current admin. came into office. this is what happens when your own president resorts to name calling.
I really think it…
Really? So the accusations that Vince Foster was murdered as part of a massive conspiracy...
Too lazy to write/'shop this one...
Chimpanzee holding a sign (which was surprisingly hard to find - I’d have had to ‘shop a blank sign and then add text to that - and is the biggest reason I’m skipping this exercise) lamenting his non-opposable thumbs, poo-flinging, nit-picking life.
All because he’s the 99% DNA match.
As you can guess, I’m actually pretty happy the photo proved to be more of a...
1 tag
“To commemorate his one-year anniversary at TBS, Conan O’Brien is taping...”
– Conan O’Brien Will Officiate a Gay Wedding on His Show Next Week — Vulture
1 tag
catty1 asked: Now I'm all confused 'cause now that you mention it I think we couldn't remember anything about the second one except that motorcycle spin on one wheel with a gun thingie ... that was 2, right? Which was the one with the cool Vatican switcheroo? See, they all bleed together! The last one had Simon Pegg and lots of running in Shanghai, right?
1 tag
catty1 replied to your video: Yeah, yeah. Tom Cruise is a crazy-eyed… The last one, which had Simon Pegg in it, was fun. Some friends & I had a hilarious time trying to remember what happened in the 1st one - we couldn’t! Everything we remembered was...
WatchYeah, yeah. Tom Cruise is a crazy-eyed motherfucker. Every dollar I spend on one of his movies is a dollar spent to help build alienometric devices out of Quaker Oats canisters and silver spray paint to be used by the Hubbardites. Mission: Impossible has been a shaky property of diminishing returns for a while (I happen to be in the small camp of people who really like the De Palma film)....
2 tags
3 tags
Fine. Okay. Cinco Thingos
Lurve
Raindrops on roses
Whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles
Warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with string
H8
People who use numbers in place of letters
Gargamel
When you hit yourself between the eyes with a ball peen hammer
People who reference 30-year-old SNL skits with Billy Crystal
Ashbury
Slipping voices
I tried leaving someone a short radio play as voicemail in three different acccents/as three different characters. Man, did the two more exaggerated accents bleed into each other a lot. Nasty.
And I got cut off right before the end, too; that was probably for the best.
PROCLAMATION →
seltzerlizard:
found via Something Changed, this is awesome and amazing:
6 tags
Levante pulls off the impossible →
fuiru:
Levante has the smallest budget in the First Division — and by some way. Its budget stands at €22M ($30.6M); Barcelona’s is €461M ($641M). Each year, it makes around 2 percent of what Madrid and Barcelona make — and then it loses it again, paying off its creditors. Last season coach Luis García admitted that he did not use the computer program that measures players’ every move because...
“Also – since I can’t write about television without taking at least one swipe at...”
– Earl Pomerantz: Just Thinking…: “Wide Ties - Narrow Ties”
Tumblr bleg...
I need this for a joke I’m writing; any help would be much appreciated.
When you think of a proto- or stereo- typical member of PETA, is there a piece of jewelry that seems appropriate for him or her to be wearing? Like a claddagh or a promise ring or anything like that?
plemur: Dear Occupy Wall Street... →
samgrittner:
I am deeply disturbed by the videos and images coming out of Oakland last night and here in New York tonight. Police are cracking down on non-violent protestors with extreme force and prejudice. This is as un-American as it gets. We wasted a trillion dollars in Iraq fighting for…
Every time the police overreach, overreact, and act like third world thugs, they make it obvious...
“NBC has bought a single-camera comedy from actor-comedian Jim Gaffigan,...”
– NBC Buys Family Comedy Created By & Starring Actor-Comedian Jim Gaffigan – Deadline.com
Unmentioned in this report is the fact that the half-hour laugher will be sponsored by Hot Pockets.
“In America, no other distinction between man and man had ever been known but...”
– Thomas Jefferson (via azspot)
Except, you know, those slaves Tom-tom owned.
They might have, just possibly, been on the teeniest tiniest less favored ground.
Okay. Look. I'll accept that *maybe* someone would...
1 tag
redcloud asked: Green? PURPLE!
1 tag
love-and-radiation replied to your post: I called someone an evil bunny the other day… Three possible references, with Donnie Darko.
Duh. Of course.
Three missed chances.
I called someone an evil bunny the other day...
…setting her up for two significant pop culture references. She struck out looking.
Look, I get you might not be a Buffy fan. I get you might not be a Python fan. But Jesus, you’ve got to be one or the other or I’m not going to waste my time talking with you.
Seemed like a good idea...: How to shoot yourself... →
cutlerish:
C You shoot yourself in the foot. C++ You accidently create a dozen instances of yourself and shoot them all in the foot. Providing emergency medical assistance is impossible since you can’t tell which are bitwise copies and which are just pointing to other instances of you, saying “that’s me…
Truthful Tuesday
At least at the end of his day, Sisyphus could proudly point out that his stone had gathered no moss.
2 tags
“I don’t want to depress you nice people, but it’s worth noting that...”
– Chain Reaction: P’Zones Suck More Even More Than You’d Imagine | Slice Pizza Blog
To the OWS contingent that's sticking steadfastly...
essdogg:
So you read your share of Chomsky in college and you fashion yourself an anarcho-syndicalist. Good for you. We’re all very proud of your reading comprehension skills. But guess what? Movements need leaders. Ghandi led India to independence. Martin Luther King led African Americans (closer) to equality. Cesar Chavez led migrant farm workers to respect.
Leaders and organization are not...
we pitched a tent at night: a weary heart, a... →
kfedup:
mkimarnold:
My friend C. is in love with a man she cannot have, and the fact that she cannot have him, I think, is part of the appeal. We meet up when I am back in town, and she tells me about the books he has written, the books he continues to write.
Do you know she never reads them? She is talking…
This is beautiful and true, and triggering a few stories in the dark corners of my...
One sentence movie review of LIMITLESS
I wish for more wishes.
“It will have the simplest user interface you could imagine,” Jobs was quoted as...”
– AppleInsider | Steve Jobs told biographer he ‘cracked’ the secret to a simple HDTV (via shaneguiter)
Sadly, the margin of the biography is too narrow to contain the design.
Meh. HDTV is going to be an outdated fermat any time now. 