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!(A variation of the liar's paradox)

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Tumbleroll

Jan
29th
Sun
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The calorie info on this microwave burrito…does it include the burnt part off the roof of my mouth I swallowed?
— http://bit.ly/Aryeju
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Tags: twitter
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I make so many jokes based on homophones I should get some sort of mettle.
— http://bit.ly/Aryeju
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Tags: twitter
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When you star a tweet mocking Bhumibol Adulyadej, he cries two little kingly tears that taste like the trampled rights of the Thai people.
— http://bit.ly/Aryeju
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Tags: twitter
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I made a cheap joke implying Bhumibol Adulyadej has a small dick which makes him a little bitch. That was wrong. Correlation != causation.
— http://bit.ly/Aryeju
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Tags: twitter
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Thailand’s all in favor of censoring tweets; if my dick were as short as the monarch’s dick, I’d feel emasculated by 140 characters as well.
— http://bit.ly/Aryeju
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Tags: twitter
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Seven hours of poker…

…it was a fun format, alternating 30-minute segments between the girls and the boys, 173 total teams, a cheap $65 buy-in…we ended up in fifth. Sucked not to win the big payout, but it was a profitable and entertaining day.

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Jan
27th
Fri
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New sketch from Peter Rogers - Detritus (Topic: “You left something behind”) http://t.co/7wBWFVh9 #sketchwar
— http://bit.ly/Aryeju
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Tags: twitter
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Man, I really wish Underdog were here. My shoes are looking a bit dull.
— http://bit.ly/Aryeju
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Tags: twitter
Jan
26th
Thu
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I write jokes so obscure, Google can’t come up with sidebar ads in Gmail.
— http://bit.ly/Aryeju
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Tags: twitter
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Newt spends so much time in the uncanny valley with Callista, Mitt seems Himalayanly human in comparison.
— http://bit.ly/Aryeju
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Tags: twitter